Turn the Paige

As we head into February - the month of LOVE... What does LOVE mean to you? How do you show it? What's your "love language"? Have you read the book "The 5 Love Languages"? Let me tell you my "love" story. 

From my perspective... 

 When I met my husband, his name is Chris, it was not love at first sight. Now, don't get me wrong, I was infatuated for sure. He was, and still is a cutie pie. I had been in a 5 year relationship with a guy who I thought was "the one"; but turns out, he was NOT! He was polar opposite of Chris. His idea of 'love' was totally different. Did he teach me what love was? Yes. It was not what I think of as love today. Did he show love? Yes. The way he was taught and the only way he knew how. It was different that what I was taught and what I thought love was supposed to look like. The funny thing is, I am still 100% his friend and love him, as a friend. I learned so much from that guy that I never even knew I was learning at the time. I grew, through that relationship, into the wife I am today. So, I have much gratitude for him. He really "showed" me what love was. And what it was not. 

 My best friend at the time introduced Chris to me. She said she knew someone I needed to meet. I had been in a bad relationship and needed to find some fun and joy again. So, she set us up. We met at a friend's house. blah, blah, blah, ok. We met. No sparks. Just met. Later, we met again. At THE BAR! That's the funny part of the story. 

 When I saw Chris at the bar one night, I asked him to "pretend to be my boyfriend" because there was a guy who had been hitting on me wanting a dance. I did not want to dance with that guy, so if Chris "pretended" we were together, maybe that other guy would leave me alone. It worked! And Chris played the part of "boyfriend" so good, that I thought he would make a pretty good one. He did. He kept coming around after that. We proceeded to the dating part, and I guess the rest is history. That is why I can tell people I met my husband in the bar. You can find "the one" in a bar, if you're that fortunate. 

 Did we have "love at first sight"? No. Did we know we would be together forever at first? No. I didn't even know what I wanted from him at that time. I just wanted to be treated right, not cheated on, and have fun. He filled the bill. Everyday, he treated me right. Everyday, he was faithful. He waited for me when I acted a fool by blowing him off, asking for space. He was always there when I needed him. When I realized he was "the one" was when I called to chat, because I was "down and out" and needed a friend. He said "come on let's go do something fun". (I went with him and a friend to get tattoos. That was fun for us at that age 20 and 21.) I knew then that after I had dragged him through this old relationship I was ending and he was always there when I needed him, I needed to grow up and make this thing work. 

 At that point in my life I didn't even have a relationship with the Lord at all. I mean I thought I was saved, I believed. I had been baptized and I was a Christian, but I wasn't going to church. I wasn't pursuing God. I wasn't doing my part of being a good Christian. I was just depending on my "once saved, always saved" mentatlity. Thank God Chris was a Christian also. Thank God he was raised in church and had a healthy relationship with the Lord. He wasn't pursuing it either, though. We were just being young and dumb and wild and free. All in all, I can honestly say that it was definitely God's handiwork though. From my loved ones prayers, God put us together. Our paths crossed because they were supposed to. We were at the places and times in our lives that put us together. The way it was meant to be for us. Now I see that so clearly. If things hadn't happened the way they did, we wouldn't have taken notice of each other. We had to go through the things we went through to get to where we are now. So, if you're one of those who has not met your "one" yet. He's out there making his way to you. If you're one that is in the midst of a relationship that isn't what it should be, I have advice for that too at a later time. This post is not for that yet. We'll talk about things to do to make a relationship stronger and better, later. 

What I want you to get out of this post is that God has a forever planned for you. When we try so hard to make it happen on our time and our plan, He is a gentleman and steps out of our way to let us learn the hard way. If you just step aside and let Him do it, it will be much better. I see God working in all areas of my life now. From conception to present day, I can see His work. There has not been one part of my life that He was not in it. Knowing that, I am so much more thankful for all I have. That is what allows me to look at my marriage, my husband, my love life and have a heartfelt, grateful, and positive perspective of it all. God did it. He used me to get to Chris, and he used Chris to get to me. We have a wonderful life and marriage. I couldn't ask for more. I can honestly say, not bragging or being boastful, I have the best life and husband I could want. I don't even know what else I would pray or ask for. I pray daily to keep it going. To grow more and make us stronger and closer. God knew exactly what I needed and fulfilled my heartfelt desires without me even being aware. That is how he works. Miraculously. Wonderfully. Graciously. 

 I hope this gives you some sort of hope, encouragement or inspiration to trust God with your life. If you don't know God in that way, please don't hesitate to drop me a comment or message. I will pray with you, for you, and get God in your life. 

Oh, and Love Languages... words of affirmation, touch, gifts, service, and quality time. Ours is a combination of them all. I like words of affirmation; he's learned to affirm me when I need it. Physical touch and affection, we all like that and I feel like it is needed daily. I grew up in an affectionate family, so hugs and kisses are normal to me. Gifts - who doesn't like getting gifts. He doesn't speak that way though, I get gifts for myself and thank him for them. LOL. I like getting things for him and seeing the appreciation in his face when he is surprised with something he really wanted and likes. I am a server, by nature. I just naturally serve people. Always trying to help, fix, do. He does too. He wants to fix whatever he can for me. Helping is one of his gifts. Quality time is probably our best compatible love language. Just spending time together is what makes us both happy. I think we are a combination of all the love languages that are specified in the "book". That is just a book written by a man though, The Good Book doesn't have specific love language, it just says to love one another. Period. Find your love language through God's prompting and you'll be just fine. He will help you figure each other out. What works and what doesn't. That's what we have done, and it just keeps getting better. Let God lead. Put Him in charge of your relationship and it can't go wrong. 

 Love, Peace and Faith - 

We've come a long way, baby. 

 PM

Through the chaos to the peace

I hope through my stories and sharing my thoughts that you can be entertained, educated, encouraged, or empowered. I have so much to share. I've been told multiple times throughout my life, that I need to write a book or share my story. So, here I am. I hope you enjoy. I hope you can follow without being lost in my erratic thoughts and I hope I can help you begin to think from different perspectives. I guess about 2000, I really learned that there was so much more to life than what I was living. I changed my perspective, and have been truly trying to see the good, look at the positive, and hear from God every day. I am the most imperfect person there is. I have failed, I have succeeded, and I have doubted my existance. I continue to choose to be a better version of me for you. For my family, for my self! Let's start somewhere in the middle of my chaos... I'll start with the story of my "changed perspective". This is the part where God met me in a place I never saw coming. I was broken, shattered, destroyed, and lost. In the midst of all of it, I had a lesson. One day, God just said "Stop! Get it together. You're gonna be fine!" Right?!? Well, that's what I say now. At the time, I didn't hear that. I just heard the devil telling me I was losing it. I was a young mama, with a thriving hair business, a great husband, who put up with my ever changing moods. I was doing my job as wife, mama, business owner-hairdresser. Just a regular ole gal going through the motions. Not a strong Christian, not in church, not anything special. In the midst of one of my hardest battles, I found myself needing something I knew I didn't have. Well, I say I didn't, I did, I just didn't know it. In the hospital with a 7 year old daughter recovering from surgery after having a tumor removed from her skull, I learned how much I did have. And that is where I changed. Well, God met me. And it changed me. Funny how now when I look back at all the things I've been through, I can see all the ways God blessed me, favored me, kept me. I never saw it before. I had to grow, I had to go through stuff. We have to. I have many reasons to have the kind of faith I have now and should have even more. From being born to a teenage child, an unplanned pregnancy, and unwanted baby, to "living my best life" as a growing child. I had more love than most, spoiled in many ways. My struggles andbblessings are not worse or better than anyone else. I have just chosen to see the blessings and favor my God has shownn me. I've been through horrors no child should face; molested by the babysitter, "gang banged" while alocohol poisoned. I've seen things that would curl some people's toenails - drug abuse, drunken orgies, and pure evil at it's finest. I've also seen God show His face in those places. Maybe having addicted loved ones and watching them go through their battles helps us see through our own. I take life one day at a time. One step at a time. I never know where the next step will be. I never know what my next move will be, but I know God does, and that's all I need for now. Oh, and did I mention, I have been to jail. I'm no saint, remember? I've been through a lot. As time and memories come, I'll give you all the details in hopes that you can relate or be encouraged. When you feel like you've hit rock bottom, maybe it's just the knot at the end of the rope that you can hold on to better. Or that rock that is a step to get up to the next level. After all, even bankruptcy, family divisions, losing best friends, deaths, and hard knocks don't leave us on the bottom. Those are the rocks that help us build the walls, or the steps to get us back up to the place we were meant to be. What's your story? Do you have one? Maybe you can relate to some of mine. Maybe yours is worse. Maybe not. I hope by telling mine, I can be a glimmer of hope, a little sliver of light to shine in your darkness. I shine so that others will know that there is light in the darkness. You just have to fan the flame or flip the switch. The stories will unfold. I'll tell you from my perspective. I may step on some toes of my friends and family. It may not be the correct story from someone else's version. These will by my perceptions. Maybe some are made up in my head. I don't know. I just know, what I do know is God has given me the story, I'm just being a vessel to tell it. Hoping for the best, believing it, and trusting God. PM<3ox

Reintroduction & Restart

Reboot, Renew, Regenerate, Restore, Resolve...

Well, It's been 10 years since I started this blogsite. Wow. I didn't even realize how fast that time went by. As time has gone by, I have still always had this little voice telling me to write. I have no idea why, because, to me, I can't write worth a flip.  So, here's to writing from a non-writing person. I have read many personal development books in the last 10 years. I have gone through much development. Now, I am back with fervor, grace, mercy and intention to try again. 

I don't even know where to start again. First things first... Hello!

I am Paige Murray. That's who I am. What I am?? Just a girl who loves Jesus, my family, my animals, and so much more. I am a Christian, a hairdresser, a daughter, a sister, a mama, a wife, a ... so many things. Have you ever tried to think about and list all the things you are??? Try it. List the good and bad (to you, God doesn't see you that way, but our human perspective of ourselves is so skewed). 

My intention here is to help others find hope, happiness, encouragement, humor, and peace in their world. I have been through much in my 51 years. Not as much as some, way more than others. So, I'm here to share my stories. I'm here to show my perspective on the areas of my life that have molded me into who and what I am today. Let's build friendships. Let's learn to walk in freedom. Let's be peaceful and kind. Let's do this thing called life. Together. I'm gonna be vulnerable and give you all I've got from my perspective. 

My perspective doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It doesn't mean you have to agree or disagree. It's just how I see things and think about them. You never know when you are shown someone else's perspective it just may change the way you look at them or the situation at hand. 

Let's GO!

Me in 2012

Me today 2022

I Need Her

Sometimes God sends me a devotion I didn't even know I needed, other times He sends one that speaks so directly and loudly to me to remind me of something. I read this today and decided someone else may need to read it too. Lord, thank you for your word, your timing, and your love. Thank you for giving me all I need. Amen. T. Suzanne Eller

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34 (NIV)

The text message read: I don't care how busy you are, Suzie. Put me on your calendar. You need me.

Sometimes friendship gets last place in my life. My parents need me more than they once did. I have children and grandchildren in three states. I juggle ministry, relationships, and real life.

But my friend is right. I need her.

I love it when we get together over lunch. We laugh. We catch up with each other's life. Often, we find ourselves talking about God. We dig deep, asking questions, praying and encouraging each other.

So why do I let this really great friendship slide to last place?

In John 13, Jesus commands the disciples to love each other. Jesus didn't drop commandments lightly. There are only a few, rare instances in Scripture, but you see, He knew something they did not. They needed each other. One day soon He would return to Heaven. Though His love would always be with them, His physical presence would not. And hard times were ahead.

Persecution.

Suffering.

Mistreatment.

But it went even deeper than that. "As I have loved you, so you must love one another," He said.

What did that look like?

When Peter denied he ever knew Jesus as his beloved Savior, he stumbled from the scene weeping. Can you imagine how he felt?

To love Peter "as Jesus did" meant that his friends wouldn't give up on him. They would remind him of Jesus' love and forgiveness. They would point him toward redemption and grace.

C. S. Lewis, author and professor, said, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

We were never intended to live our faith in isolation. God and girlfriends are not just fun. They are needed. In good times. In hard times. When we are living with purpose. When we falter.

You may be reading this and thinking, I don't have a friend who texts or calls me. I wish I had a friend like that. If so, why not pray and ask God for one person you know who needs someone to reach out to them. Sometimes we have to be the friend we wish we had; taking the first steps toward the friendships we need.

I have made myself a promise today. I will work on this gift called friendship. I won't allow a week or a month to go by without a lunch date, or at the minimum a conversation. In fact, I just texted my friend: I don't care how busy I am, friend. Let's make a date. I need you.

Dear Lord, thank You for my friend. I get so busy that I put her last. Give me wisdom to know how to nurture this part of my life. Help me to love my friend the way You love me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

"One thing I know for sure: We were never created to go it alone...If we attempt to face life's complexities alone, our heart and hope will shrivel. God has created us for community—for belonging." Julie Barnhill, Exquisite Hope

Have you lost contact with a friend? Why not send her a note or call her? Set a date and a time to get together.

Power Verse:
Philippians 2:4, "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (NLT)

Thoughts for Today

"My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,

Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;

For whom the LORD loves He chastens,

And scourges every son whom He receives."

 

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

 

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled

See that you do not refuse Him who speaks. For if they did not escape who refused Him who spoke on earth, much more shall we not escape if we turn away from Him who speaks from heaven, whose voice then shook the earth; but now He has promised, saying, "Yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven." Now this, "Yet once more," indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.

 

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire.

 

Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. Remember the prisoners as if chained with them-those who are mistreated-since you yourselves are in the body also.

 

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say:

 

"The LORD is my helper;

I will not fear.

What can man do to me?"

 

Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

 

The LORD is righteous in all His ways,

Gracious in all His works.

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,

To all who call upon Him in truth.

He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;

He also will hear their cry and save them.

My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD,

And all flesh shall bless His holy name

Forever and ever.

Joy, Unspeakable Joy.

So, It's been a while. I have been UBER-busy. Went to Disney World for the first time. Flew for the first time. Between work, teenage daughter, and holiday hustle, I am "wo-out". But, "no rest for the weary". And, as I read my devotions this morning, and after listening to Bro. Bo last night (and a little worship music), I have too much to post to just do a Facebook status update....So...

First let's start with Joy!

That is our word from Bro Bo this week. Unspeakable Joy! It started with a song from the Chris Tomlin Christmas CD from last year. It is wonderful by the way, if you have not heard it. But, his rendition of "Joy to the world" is AWESOME. If you don't feel joy after listening to that song, well, I just don't know what will bring it to ya. Then this morning my first devotion was about Contagious Joy. 1 John 1:1-4 ...verses 3&4 say share the fellowship and the JOYS we have with the Father and with Jesus Christ his son. ...then, you too will be full of joy...When you're in love with Jesus, you can't keep to yourself the joy that comes from knowing Him- it just spills over, bearing witness and strengthening other believers.

Next, I read about spiritual harassment. Wow. Never thought about it that way.
"Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8-9).

In the spiritual realm we deal with spiritual harassment from Satan and his legions. The Bible says "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Eph. 6:12). It is important to recognize when we are coming against these forces. Satan attempts to distract us from our calling and destiny in life. We often trivialize the reality of the spirit realm of evil.
Paul tells us we must set our minds to deal with the spiritual realm of evil when it impacts our lives. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. (Eph 6:13).
The next time you feel obstacles have been placed in your life designed to distract you from your God-ordained mission, remember Paul's words and stand firm in Christ.
 

OOOH. I liked that. I needed that. We have also been talking about spiritual warfare at church. About how much we are all fighting a spiritual battle, daily. God's speaking to me today!

Then, lastly, as I read my Bible reading for today, all these scriptures jumped out at me. I'm running out of time to elaborate on each one (cuz as always i get inspired right as the clock tells me i should be getting off the computer and get ready for work) . So, I'll just post them and you can elaborate as you want. :)

Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 


Ok, gotta go. Hope this helps you today. Hope it inspires somebody to be filled with Unspeakable Joy. 


God Bless you all!

The Little Things

November 16, 2011 As I read this devotion this morning, I feel like I need to share it. Maybe somebody out there needs to hear it. I know there are some people I would like to think need to hear it, but then I have learned in the past the very things I think someone else needs is really only meant for me. So, as I think on this, and realize that I do have some "small things" that have festered inside me, even though I say different, I pray that the Lord will heal those areas. I have friends that have become so distant over such minute discrepancies that now I believe we are not really "friends" at all, just acquaintances. On that note, I do also believe that God allows friends to be in your life for seasons, and that when the season is over you may still be friends just not as close. And there are other people placed in those areas to fill that void. Just sayin'..... Marybeth Whalen

"My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly." Psalm 38:5 (NIV)

It was just a little thing. A small stone or piece of shell I'd stepped on at some point during my walk on the beach. I figured I didn't need to worry about it. Eventually it would work its way out. So I ignored it and went on with life.

But weeks later my plan wasn't working. The little thing hadn't gone away. It had only worked its way deeper into my foot. I was having more and more trouble walking. And my little thing had become harder to ignore.

At my husband's insistence, I finally visited the doctor, who told me that something that could've been handled easily at the beginning had now turned into a much bigger problem. What could've been as simple as removing a splinter now involved cutting into my foot.

I thought of the little things in my life I've ignored, letting them work their way deeper instead of plucking them out while they were still easy to get to. Resentment, anger, jealousy, gossip, unforgiveness and unkind thoughts can be plucked out the moment we realize they're there. But leave them untended and they go deeper.

What could be a matter of prayer and accountability becomes a full blown life issue that controls us and causes pain—not just for us, but for others as well. Ignore the little things and they become big problems; plucking becomes carving. Like our verse today, our sinful folly causes wounds that fester instead of heal.

I didn't take the time to go to the doctor. I didn't want to mess with the inconvenience or the pain of having my little thing dealt with. I thought I could handle it on my own. But I couldn't. I needed a physician to do what I could not. It is the same for those little things in my thought life as well. I need the Great Physician to remove what I can't reach — and do it before it becomes so deep that it's part of who I am.

When I'm struggling with little things, I've learned to ask God to help me see what is going on through His Word and prayer. Then I listen to the Holy Spirit's convictions and seek honesty from friends and family.

As a friend of mine says, "The truth might hurt, but the truth also heals." We must be intentional about being honest with ourselves and do whatever it takes to identify and remove the potentially damaging little things in our hearts and in our thought lives.

Dear Lord, please show me those little things in my life I am ignoring — whether it's a behavior like gossip or a thought like envy. I try to convince myself that there's such a thing as a "little sin" but I know deep down that little things can become big problems if left unchecked. Convict me through Your Holy Spirit and let me respond as You would want. In Jesus' Name, Amen.