Judgment. Who's seat are you in?

What is judgment?

Why do we judge?

What makes you better than me or me better than you ?

Why is it ok for some but not ok for me or you?

What makes one sin worse than another to us yet all equal to God?

Have you done something that you have judged others for?

Have you been in the seat of judgment yet turned right around and judged harshly of someone else doing the same thing?

What about the planks in our eyes?

All these thoughts that swim in my head during the night when I wake and can't go back to sleep. 

Judgment. We all are judged by God. Hebrews 4:12 He judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 

Matt. 7:1 says Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 

So, being human, we just do it. 

I'm guilty. I judge sister Susie over there that is prettier than me. And brother Joe, who cheated on his wife. Or even cousin Judy, who drinks too much. (Eye roll) I'm the judger. 

And... I've been judged so harshly by others and sometimes rightfully so, but so many times, wrongfully accused. 

I've even gotten fuming mad at someone else for doing something I thought was so wrong, and found myself doing the same dang thing later and felt terrible for being so hateful about the other person. Because I was guilty of the same flaw. 

I just want someone else to know, I'm right there too. 

In a world full of pretend perfectionism, I'm not perfect. Never have been, never will be. 

I'm a awfully imperfect person. Romans 7:15 says I do not understand what I do. What I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. I feel that in my soul. 

Let's think about the golden rule before we judge next time. You know... Do unto others...

And take a look at what you're judging about that other person, it may be something in yourself that you aren't allowing yourself to honestly see. You know when you point a finger, there are 4 pointing back at you. 

Let's do better. Let's leave the judging to God and ask Him to perfect in us His Spirit, so we can be the best version of ourselves that we can be. 

One Word Heals, BELIEVE

Just one word heals what's broken inside. 

I heard that today while listening to worship music. 

We're ALL broken inside. We all want to feel heard, seen, validated, ... (use your best adjective here).

Let God... Let God do His work IN YOU!

I hear and see (on Social Media posts) people say what all is wrong with them. "I have this ailment", "I don't feel good, I need a doctor appointment", "I'm depressed", "I have social anxiety", ... etc. whatever the case may be.

We've brought up a generation that thinks everything about us is wrong. 

Friends, we all have brokenness. 

It Is Normal! And we're all looking for what's NOrMal!

Yes, we're all special, also. But...

My ailment, whether inward or outward, is no bigger, better, or worse than yours. 

It makes my heart hurt to hear so many young people medicating for anxiety, depression, ADD, abc&xyz. 

You say you have severe anxiety? ...

Me too! ...

Depression? ...

Me too! ...

Negative thoughts (suicide, anger, resentment, guilt)?? ...

Guess What? ME TOO!!! ...

All those things are part of being a human. It's OK! We're OK. God made us that way. 

You know why? To make us seek Him. To get us to search for Him. To find Him. 

Satan tries to plant those lies in our minds to deceive us into thinking we are not worthy or good or "normal". BUT GOD...

Is bigger, better, stronger, more...

Encourage your children and share with others the reality of "normal". None of us are perfect. 

We all struggle with thoughts of oppression. Our minds are a battlefield. 

Be honest with your kids and friends, and let them know you're not perfect. 

Social Media makes everything look like life is one big happy place. (And it can be!) Social Media makes it look like we're perfect with filters. 

We all have problems. We need to let that be normalized. 

Don't be defeated by sickness, disease, addiction, and bondages. 

Don't let the "world" make us feel like we're "not right" or "unwell". Because we are!

By God! By His Resurrection Power. By the blood. 

Live in the blessing not the burden

How many times do we do something we know will result in negative consequences, yet we go through with the "pleasure" of the moment?

This weekend, I had a wonderful time. As I considered the "guilt" of my pleasures, I am reminded how sinful we are in inconspicuous ways. My "guilty pleasures" were no more than eating "bad"- for -me foods, but it could be related to how easy we get tripped up over small sins. 

I even made a social media post about how we should "throw caution to the wind" sometimes and enjoy the little things. Life is too short. 

I was attending a funeral out of town for a family member. Since I was in that mode, that was my mindset. Life is too short. Eat the cake- (in my case, donuts, pizza, coke float--these are not allowed in my diet for health reasons. I get migraines- dairy, sugar, and MSG are all triggers).

It reminded me how we let little pleasures lead us to bigger mishaps. If we let ourselves have the "donuts" are we setting ourselves up for eating a dozen donuts in the future? If we allow ourselves to dismiss the small voice of reason every time, eventually we don't listen to the voice of reason - our subconscious, the angel on our shoulder telling us right from wrong. 

Now, my message was originally about how to lighten up a bit on yourself from the rigid rules we apply to ourselves when it comes to eating and "enjoying" life. We're all too busy. We're all "watching what we eat" because the doctor or our health tells us we can't eat whatever we want all the time. 

Our food industry has traded good, healthy foods for junk full of chemicals and harmful ingredients. It's not like it was in the "old days" when there was no "high fructose corn syrup" and "artificial sweeteners" or "chemical laden" crap. 

My thoughts migrated to looking at how that very thought process compares to making wrong choices in general. How little lies, little sins lead to bigger lies or sins. When we are conditioned through social media and other outside resources to think about ourselves all the time like "self care, self love, self...fill in the blank..." we are training our inside voice (inner spirit) to stop focusing on what is right or wrong (from God's instruction) to listening to our flesh and changing what we see, think, feel to what we want it to be according to our flesh.

So, when we change the situation from the little things like just eating pizza and taking some "me time" to lolly gag around with friends or loved ones to indulging in junk food all the time and being lazy and skipping out on doing the important jobs that need doing, then we have missed the point. 

God wants what is best for us. He gives us parameters to go by. We need to keep that little angel on our shoulder to keep us in check. Don't let the innocent fun of grabbing ice cream with your husband turn into thinking it's okay to skip out on eating wholesome foods and just eat ice cream and not work. An occasional treat is quite alright, but the binging is where it becomes a problem. 

When we become negligent to the healthy boundaries and remove the boundaries altogether - that's when the lines become so blurred that the once innocent thought of having lunch with a friend could turn into drinks after work with a coworker that is married. That's a pretty extreme example, and my thoughts have gotten pretty far from the original thought process of a happy time compared to how we quickly let things get out of hand. 

My message was simply this: live your life, enjoy it, have fun, just don't let it get out of control. Keep a check on where you let your boundaries be stretched. I know it's easy to fall into the traps Satan sets up for us. That ole devil just loves to lead us into temptation. He is cunning and makes temptations seem so innocent. That's what my thoughts were. Just how simple "asking for forgiveness is easier than asking permission." Don't let little "happies" ruin what God has in store for you. 

The grass is not greener on the other side. It is only greenest where you fertilize it. 

Go have a donut, some pizza, and some ice cream. Just don't commit a carnal sin in the process....

This ended up being different than how I was thinking it in my head. I don't think I conveyed my thoughts as good as I wanted. Oh, well. I hope you got the message. Be careful out there. It's a mad world we live in. 

What's your thoughts? Tell me what you think about letting yourself have guilty pleasures. 

Turn the Paige

As we head into February - the month of LOVE... What does LOVE mean to you? How do you show it? What's your "love language"? Have you read the book "The 5 Love Languages"? Let me tell you my "love" story. 

From my perspective... 

 When I met my husband, his name is Chris, it was not love at first sight. Now, don't get me wrong, I was infatuated for sure. He was, and still is a cutie pie. I had been in a 5 year relationship with a guy who I thought was "the one"; but turns out, he was NOT! He was polar opposite of Chris. His idea of 'love' was totally different. Did he teach me what love was? Yes. It was not what I think of as love today. Did he show love? Yes. The way he was taught and the only way he knew how. It was different that what I was taught and what I thought love was supposed to look like. The funny thing is, I am still 100% his friend and love him, as a friend. I learned so much from that guy that I never even knew I was learning at the time. I grew, through that relationship, into the wife I am today. So, I have much gratitude for him. He really "showed" me what love was. And what it was not. 

 My best friend at the time introduced Chris to me. She said she knew someone I needed to meet. I had been in a bad relationship and needed to find some fun and joy again. So, she set us up. We met at a friend's house. blah, blah, blah, ok. We met. No sparks. Just met. Later, we met again. At THE BAR! That's the funny part of the story. 

 When I saw Chris at the bar one night, I asked him to "pretend to be my boyfriend" because there was a guy who had been hitting on me wanting a dance. I did not want to dance with that guy, so if Chris "pretended" we were together, maybe that other guy would leave me alone. It worked! And Chris played the part of "boyfriend" so good, that I thought he would make a pretty good one. He did. He kept coming around after that. We proceeded to the dating part, and I guess the rest is history. That is why I can tell people I met my husband in the bar. You can find "the one" in a bar, if you're that fortunate. 

 Did we have "love at first sight"? No. Did we know we would be together forever at first? No. I didn't even know what I wanted from him at that time. I just wanted to be treated right, not cheated on, and have fun. He filled the bill. Everyday, he treated me right. Everyday, he was faithful. He waited for me when I acted a fool by blowing him off, asking for space. He was always there when I needed him. When I realized he was "the one" was when I called to chat, because I was "down and out" and needed a friend. He said "come on let's go do something fun". (I went with him and a friend to get tattoos. That was fun for us at that age 20 and 21.) I knew then that after I had dragged him through this old relationship I was ending and he was always there when I needed him, I needed to grow up and make this thing work. 

 At that point in my life I didn't even have a relationship with the Lord at all. I mean I thought I was saved, I believed. I had been baptized and I was a Christian, but I wasn't going to church. I wasn't pursuing God. I wasn't doing my part of being a good Christian. I was just depending on my "once saved, always saved" mentatlity. Thank God Chris was a Christian also. Thank God he was raised in church and had a healthy relationship with the Lord. He wasn't pursuing it either, though. We were just being young and dumb and wild and free. All in all, I can honestly say that it was definitely God's handiwork though. From my loved ones prayers, God put us together. Our paths crossed because they were supposed to. We were at the places and times in our lives that put us together. The way it was meant to be for us. Now I see that so clearly. If things hadn't happened the way they did, we wouldn't have taken notice of each other. We had to go through the things we went through to get to where we are now. So, if you're one of those who has not met your "one" yet. He's out there making his way to you. If you're one that is in the midst of a relationship that isn't what it should be, I have advice for that too at a later time. This post is not for that yet. We'll talk about things to do to make a relationship stronger and better, later. 

What I want you to get out of this post is that God has a forever planned for you. When we try so hard to make it happen on our time and our plan, He is a gentleman and steps out of our way to let us learn the hard way. If you just step aside and let Him do it, it will be much better. I see God working in all areas of my life now. From conception to present day, I can see His work. There has not been one part of my life that He was not in it. Knowing that, I am so much more thankful for all I have. That is what allows me to look at my marriage, my husband, my love life and have a heartfelt, grateful, and positive perspective of it all. God did it. He used me to get to Chris, and he used Chris to get to me. We have a wonderful life and marriage. I couldn't ask for more. I can honestly say, not bragging or being boastful, I have the best life and husband I could want. I don't even know what else I would pray or ask for. I pray daily to keep it going. To grow more and make us stronger and closer. God knew exactly what I needed and fulfilled my heartfelt desires without me even being aware. That is how he works. Miraculously. Wonderfully. Graciously. 

 I hope this gives you some sort of hope, encouragement or inspiration to trust God with your life. If you don't know God in that way, please don't hesitate to drop me a comment or message. I will pray with you, for you, and get God in your life. 

Oh, and Love Languages... words of affirmation, touch, gifts, service, and quality time. Ours is a combination of them all. I like words of affirmation; he's learned to affirm me when I need it. Physical touch and affection, we all like that and I feel like it is needed daily. I grew up in an affectionate family, so hugs and kisses are normal to me. Gifts - who doesn't like getting gifts. He doesn't speak that way though, I get gifts for myself and thank him for them. LOL. I like getting things for him and seeing the appreciation in his face when he is surprised with something he really wanted and likes. I am a server, by nature. I just naturally serve people. Always trying to help, fix, do. He does too. He wants to fix whatever he can for me. Helping is one of his gifts. Quality time is probably our best compatible love language. Just spending time together is what makes us both happy. I think we are a combination of all the love languages that are specified in the "book". That is just a book written by a man though, The Good Book doesn't have specific love language, it just says to love one another. Period. Find your love language through God's prompting and you'll be just fine. He will help you figure each other out. What works and what doesn't. That's what we have done, and it just keeps getting better. Let God lead. Put Him in charge of your relationship and it can't go wrong. 

 Love, Peace and Faith - 

We've come a long way, baby. 

 PM

Through the chaos to the peace

I hope through my stories and sharing my thoughts that you can be entertained, educated, encouraged, or empowered. I have so much to share. I've been told multiple times throughout my life, that I need to write a book or share my story. So, here I am. I hope you enjoy. I hope you can follow without being lost in my erratic thoughts and I hope I can help you begin to think from different perspectives. I guess about 2000, I really learned that there was so much more to life than what I was living. I changed my perspective, and have been truly trying to see the good, look at the positive, and hear from God every day. I am the most imperfect person there is. I have failed, I have succeeded, and I have doubted my existance. I continue to choose to be a better version of me for you. For my family, for my self! Let's start somewhere in the middle of my chaos... I'll start with the story of my "changed perspective". This is the part where God met me in a place I never saw coming. I was broken, shattered, destroyed, and lost. In the midst of all of it, I had a lesson. One day, God just said "Stop! Get it together. You're gonna be fine!" Right?!? Well, that's what I say now. At the time, I didn't hear that. I just heard the devil telling me I was losing it. I was a young mama, with a thriving hair business, a great husband, who put up with my ever changing moods. I was doing my job as wife, mama, business owner-hairdresser. Just a regular ole gal going through the motions. Not a strong Christian, not in church, not anything special. In the midst of one of my hardest battles, I found myself needing something I knew I didn't have. Well, I say I didn't, I did, I just didn't know it. In the hospital with a 7 year old daughter recovering from surgery after having a tumor removed from her skull, I learned how much I did have. And that is where I changed. Well, God met me. And it changed me. Funny how now when I look back at all the things I've been through, I can see all the ways God blessed me, favored me, kept me. I never saw it before. I had to grow, I had to go through stuff. We have to. I have many reasons to have the kind of faith I have now and should have even more. From being born to a teenage child, an unplanned pregnancy, and unwanted baby, to "living my best life" as a growing child. I had more love than most, spoiled in many ways. My struggles andbblessings are not worse or better than anyone else. I have just chosen to see the blessings and favor my God has shownn me. I've been through horrors no child should face; molested by the babysitter, "gang banged" while alocohol poisoned. I've seen things that would curl some people's toenails - drug abuse, drunken orgies, and pure evil at it's finest. I've also seen God show His face in those places. Maybe having addicted loved ones and watching them go through their battles helps us see through our own. I take life one day at a time. One step at a time. I never know where the next step will be. I never know what my next move will be, but I know God does, and that's all I need for now. Oh, and did I mention, I have been to jail. I'm no saint, remember? I've been through a lot. As time and memories come, I'll give you all the details in hopes that you can relate or be encouraged. When you feel like you've hit rock bottom, maybe it's just the knot at the end of the rope that you can hold on to better. Or that rock that is a step to get up to the next level. After all, even bankruptcy, family divisions, losing best friends, deaths, and hard knocks don't leave us on the bottom. Those are the rocks that help us build the walls, or the steps to get us back up to the place we were meant to be. What's your story? Do you have one? Maybe you can relate to some of mine. Maybe yours is worse. Maybe not. I hope by telling mine, I can be a glimmer of hope, a little sliver of light to shine in your darkness. I shine so that others will know that there is light in the darkness. You just have to fan the flame or flip the switch. The stories will unfold. I'll tell you from my perspective. I may step on some toes of my friends and family. It may not be the correct story from someone else's version. These will by my perceptions. Maybe some are made up in my head. I don't know. I just know, what I do know is God has given me the story, I'm just being a vessel to tell it. Hoping for the best, believing it, and trusting God. PM<3ox

Reintroduction & Restart

Reboot, Renew, Regenerate, Restore, Resolve...

Well, It's been 10 years since I started this blogsite. Wow. I didn't even realize how fast that time went by. As time has gone by, I have still always had this little voice telling me to write. I have no idea why, because, to me, I can't write worth a flip.  So, here's to writing from a non-writing person. I have read many personal development books in the last 10 years. I have gone through much development. Now, I am back with fervor, grace, mercy and intention to try again. 

I don't even know where to start again. First things first... Hello!

I am Paige Murray. That's who I am. What I am?? Just a girl who loves Jesus, my family, my animals, and so much more. I am a Christian, a hairdresser, a daughter, a sister, a mama, a wife, a ... so many things. Have you ever tried to think about and list all the things you are??? Try it. List the good and bad (to you, God doesn't see you that way, but our human perspective of ourselves is so skewed). 

My intention here is to help others find hope, happiness, encouragement, humor, and peace in their world. I have been through much in my 51 years. Not as much as some, way more than others. So, I'm here to share my stories. I'm here to show my perspective on the areas of my life that have molded me into who and what I am today. Let's build friendships. Let's learn to walk in freedom. Let's be peaceful and kind. Let's do this thing called life. Together. I'm gonna be vulnerable and give you all I've got from my perspective. 

My perspective doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It doesn't mean you have to agree or disagree. It's just how I see things and think about them. You never know when you are shown someone else's perspective it just may change the way you look at them or the situation at hand. 

Let's GO!

Me in 2012

Me today 2022

I Need Her

Sometimes God sends me a devotion I didn't even know I needed, other times He sends one that speaks so directly and loudly to me to remind me of something. I read this today and decided someone else may need to read it too. Lord, thank you for your word, your timing, and your love. Thank you for giving me all I need. Amen. T. Suzanne Eller

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34 (NIV)

The text message read: I don't care how busy you are, Suzie. Put me on your calendar. You need me.

Sometimes friendship gets last place in my life. My parents need me more than they once did. I have children and grandchildren in three states. I juggle ministry, relationships, and real life.

But my friend is right. I need her.

I love it when we get together over lunch. We laugh. We catch up with each other's life. Often, we find ourselves talking about God. We dig deep, asking questions, praying and encouraging each other.

So why do I let this really great friendship slide to last place?

In John 13, Jesus commands the disciples to love each other. Jesus didn't drop commandments lightly. There are only a few, rare instances in Scripture, but you see, He knew something they did not. They needed each other. One day soon He would return to Heaven. Though His love would always be with them, His physical presence would not. And hard times were ahead.

Persecution.

Suffering.

Mistreatment.

But it went even deeper than that. "As I have loved you, so you must love one another," He said.

What did that look like?

When Peter denied he ever knew Jesus as his beloved Savior, he stumbled from the scene weeping. Can you imagine how he felt?

To love Peter "as Jesus did" meant that his friends wouldn't give up on him. They would remind him of Jesus' love and forgiveness. They would point him toward redemption and grace.

C. S. Lewis, author and professor, said, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

We were never intended to live our faith in isolation. God and girlfriends are not just fun. They are needed. In good times. In hard times. When we are living with purpose. When we falter.

You may be reading this and thinking, I don't have a friend who texts or calls me. I wish I had a friend like that. If so, why not pray and ask God for one person you know who needs someone to reach out to them. Sometimes we have to be the friend we wish we had; taking the first steps toward the friendships we need.

I have made myself a promise today. I will work on this gift called friendship. I won't allow a week or a month to go by without a lunch date, or at the minimum a conversation. In fact, I just texted my friend: I don't care how busy I am, friend. Let's make a date. I need you.

Dear Lord, thank You for my friend. I get so busy that I put her last. Give me wisdom to know how to nurture this part of my life. Help me to love my friend the way You love me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

"One thing I know for sure: We were never created to go it alone...If we attempt to face life's complexities alone, our heart and hope will shrivel. God has created us for community—for belonging." Julie Barnhill, Exquisite Hope

Have you lost contact with a friend? Why not send her a note or call her? Set a date and a time to get together.

Power Verse:
Philippians 2:4, "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (NLT)