I hope through my stories and sharing my thoughts that you can be entertained, educated, encouraged, or empowered. I have so much to share. I've been told multiple times throughout my life, that I need to write a book or share my story. So, here I am. I hope you enjoy. I hope you can follow without being lost in my erratic thoughts and I hope I can help you begin to think from different perspectives.
I guess about 2000, I really learned that there was so much more to life than what I was living. I changed my perspective, and have been truly trying to see the good, look at the positive, and hear from God every day. I am the most imperfect person there is. I have failed, I have succeeded, and I have doubted my existance. I continue to choose to be a better version of me for you. For my family, for my self!
Let's start somewhere in the middle of my chaos...
I'll start with the story of my "changed perspective".
This is the part where God met me in a place I never saw coming. I was broken, shattered, destroyed, and lost. In the midst of all of it, I had a lesson. One day, God just said "Stop! Get it together. You're gonna be fine!" Right?!? Well, that's what I say now. At the time, I didn't hear that. I just heard the devil telling me I was losing it.
I was a young mama, with a thriving hair business, a great husband, who put up with my ever changing moods. I was doing my job as wife, mama, business owner-hairdresser. Just a regular ole gal going through the motions. Not a strong Christian, not in church, not anything special.
In the midst of one of my hardest battles, I found myself needing something I knew I didn't have. Well, I say I didn't, I did, I just didn't know it. In the hospital with a 7 year old daughter recovering from surgery after having a tumor removed from her skull, I learned how much I did have. And that is where I changed. Well, God met me. And it changed me.
Funny how now when I look back at all the things I've been through, I can see all the ways God blessed me, favored me, kept me. I never saw it before. I had to grow, I had to go through stuff. We have to.
I have many reasons to have the kind of faith I have now and should have even more. From being born to a teenage child, an unplanned pregnancy, and unwanted baby, to "living my best life" as a growing child. I had more love than most, spoiled in many ways. My struggles andbblessings are not worse or better than anyone else. I have just chosen to see the blessings and favor my God has shownn me.
I've been through horrors no child should face; molested by the babysitter, "gang banged" while alocohol poisoned. I've seen things that would curl some people's toenails - drug abuse, drunken orgies, and pure evil at it's finest. I've also seen God show His face in those places. Maybe having addicted loved ones and watching them go through their battles helps us see through our own. I take life one day at a time. One step at a time. I never know where the next step will be. I never know what my next move will be, but I know God does, and that's all I need for now.
Oh, and did I mention, I have been to jail. I'm no saint, remember? I've been through a lot. As time and memories come, I'll give you all the details in hopes that you can relate or be encouraged. When you feel like you've hit rock bottom, maybe it's just the knot at the end of the rope that you can hold on to better. Or that rock that is a step to get up to the next level. After all, even bankruptcy, family divisions, losing best friends, deaths, and hard knocks don't leave us on the bottom. Those are the rocks that help us build the walls, or the steps to get us back up to the place we were meant to be.
What's your story? Do you have one? Maybe you can relate to some of mine. Maybe yours is worse. Maybe not. I hope by telling mine, I can be a glimmer of hope, a little sliver of light to shine in your darkness. I shine so that others will know that there is light in the darkness. You just have to fan the flame or flip the switch.
The stories will unfold. I'll tell you from my perspective. I may step on some toes of my friends and family. It may not be the correct story from someone else's version. These will by my perceptions. Maybe some are made up in my head. I don't know. I just know, what I do know is God has given me the story, I'm just being a vessel to tell it.
Hoping for the best, believing it, and trusting God.
PM<3ox
No comments:
Post a Comment