Turn the Paige

As we head into February - the month of LOVE... What does LOVE mean to you? How do you show it? What's your "love language"? Have you read the book "The 5 Love Languages"? Let me tell you my "love" story. 

From my perspective... 

 When I met my husband, his name is Chris, it was not love at first sight. Now, don't get me wrong, I was infatuated for sure. He was, and still is a cutie pie. I had been in a 5 year relationship with a guy who I thought was "the one"; but turns out, he was NOT! He was polar opposite of Chris. His idea of 'love' was totally different. Did he teach me what love was? Yes. It was not what I think of as love today. Did he show love? Yes. The way he was taught and the only way he knew how. It was different that what I was taught and what I thought love was supposed to look like. The funny thing is, I am still 100% his friend and love him, as a friend. I learned so much from that guy that I never even knew I was learning at the time. I grew, through that relationship, into the wife I am today. So, I have much gratitude for him. He really "showed" me what love was. And what it was not. 

 My best friend at the time introduced Chris to me. She said she knew someone I needed to meet. I had been in a bad relationship and needed to find some fun and joy again. So, she set us up. We met at a friend's house. blah, blah, blah, ok. We met. No sparks. Just met. Later, we met again. At THE BAR! That's the funny part of the story. 

 When I saw Chris at the bar one night, I asked him to "pretend to be my boyfriend" because there was a guy who had been hitting on me wanting a dance. I did not want to dance with that guy, so if Chris "pretended" we were together, maybe that other guy would leave me alone. It worked! And Chris played the part of "boyfriend" so good, that I thought he would make a pretty good one. He did. He kept coming around after that. We proceeded to the dating part, and I guess the rest is history. That is why I can tell people I met my husband in the bar. You can find "the one" in a bar, if you're that fortunate. 

 Did we have "love at first sight"? No. Did we know we would be together forever at first? No. I didn't even know what I wanted from him at that time. I just wanted to be treated right, not cheated on, and have fun. He filled the bill. Everyday, he treated me right. Everyday, he was faithful. He waited for me when I acted a fool by blowing him off, asking for space. He was always there when I needed him. When I realized he was "the one" was when I called to chat, because I was "down and out" and needed a friend. He said "come on let's go do something fun". (I went with him and a friend to get tattoos. That was fun for us at that age 20 and 21.) I knew then that after I had dragged him through this old relationship I was ending and he was always there when I needed him, I needed to grow up and make this thing work. 

 At that point in my life I didn't even have a relationship with the Lord at all. I mean I thought I was saved, I believed. I had been baptized and I was a Christian, but I wasn't going to church. I wasn't pursuing God. I wasn't doing my part of being a good Christian. I was just depending on my "once saved, always saved" mentatlity. Thank God Chris was a Christian also. Thank God he was raised in church and had a healthy relationship with the Lord. He wasn't pursuing it either, though. We were just being young and dumb and wild and free. All in all, I can honestly say that it was definitely God's handiwork though. From my loved ones prayers, God put us together. Our paths crossed because they were supposed to. We were at the places and times in our lives that put us together. The way it was meant to be for us. Now I see that so clearly. If things hadn't happened the way they did, we wouldn't have taken notice of each other. We had to go through the things we went through to get to where we are now. So, if you're one of those who has not met your "one" yet. He's out there making his way to you. If you're one that is in the midst of a relationship that isn't what it should be, I have advice for that too at a later time. This post is not for that yet. We'll talk about things to do to make a relationship stronger and better, later. 

What I want you to get out of this post is that God has a forever planned for you. When we try so hard to make it happen on our time and our plan, He is a gentleman and steps out of our way to let us learn the hard way. If you just step aside and let Him do it, it will be much better. I see God working in all areas of my life now. From conception to present day, I can see His work. There has not been one part of my life that He was not in it. Knowing that, I am so much more thankful for all I have. That is what allows me to look at my marriage, my husband, my love life and have a heartfelt, grateful, and positive perspective of it all. God did it. He used me to get to Chris, and he used Chris to get to me. We have a wonderful life and marriage. I couldn't ask for more. I can honestly say, not bragging or being boastful, I have the best life and husband I could want. I don't even know what else I would pray or ask for. I pray daily to keep it going. To grow more and make us stronger and closer. God knew exactly what I needed and fulfilled my heartfelt desires without me even being aware. That is how he works. Miraculously. Wonderfully. Graciously. 

 I hope this gives you some sort of hope, encouragement or inspiration to trust God with your life. If you don't know God in that way, please don't hesitate to drop me a comment or message. I will pray with you, for you, and get God in your life. 

Oh, and Love Languages... words of affirmation, touch, gifts, service, and quality time. Ours is a combination of them all. I like words of affirmation; he's learned to affirm me when I need it. Physical touch and affection, we all like that and I feel like it is needed daily. I grew up in an affectionate family, so hugs and kisses are normal to me. Gifts - who doesn't like getting gifts. He doesn't speak that way though, I get gifts for myself and thank him for them. LOL. I like getting things for him and seeing the appreciation in his face when he is surprised with something he really wanted and likes. I am a server, by nature. I just naturally serve people. Always trying to help, fix, do. He does too. He wants to fix whatever he can for me. Helping is one of his gifts. Quality time is probably our best compatible love language. Just spending time together is what makes us both happy. I think we are a combination of all the love languages that are specified in the "book". That is just a book written by a man though, The Good Book doesn't have specific love language, it just says to love one another. Period. Find your love language through God's prompting and you'll be just fine. He will help you figure each other out. What works and what doesn't. That's what we have done, and it just keeps getting better. Let God lead. Put Him in charge of your relationship and it can't go wrong. 

 Love, Peace and Faith - 

We've come a long way, baby. 

 PM

Through the chaos to the peace

I hope through my stories and sharing my thoughts that you can be entertained, educated, encouraged, or empowered. I have so much to share. I've been told multiple times throughout my life, that I need to write a book or share my story. So, here I am. I hope you enjoy. I hope you can follow without being lost in my erratic thoughts and I hope I can help you begin to think from different perspectives. I guess about 2000, I really learned that there was so much more to life than what I was living. I changed my perspective, and have been truly trying to see the good, look at the positive, and hear from God every day. I am the most imperfect person there is. I have failed, I have succeeded, and I have doubted my existance. I continue to choose to be a better version of me for you. For my family, for my self! Let's start somewhere in the middle of my chaos... I'll start with the story of my "changed perspective". This is the part where God met me in a place I never saw coming. I was broken, shattered, destroyed, and lost. In the midst of all of it, I had a lesson. One day, God just said "Stop! Get it together. You're gonna be fine!" Right?!? Well, that's what I say now. At the time, I didn't hear that. I just heard the devil telling me I was losing it. I was a young mama, with a thriving hair business, a great husband, who put up with my ever changing moods. I was doing my job as wife, mama, business owner-hairdresser. Just a regular ole gal going through the motions. Not a strong Christian, not in church, not anything special. In the midst of one of my hardest battles, I found myself needing something I knew I didn't have. Well, I say I didn't, I did, I just didn't know it. In the hospital with a 7 year old daughter recovering from surgery after having a tumor removed from her skull, I learned how much I did have. And that is where I changed. Well, God met me. And it changed me. Funny how now when I look back at all the things I've been through, I can see all the ways God blessed me, favored me, kept me. I never saw it before. I had to grow, I had to go through stuff. We have to. I have many reasons to have the kind of faith I have now and should have even more. From being born to a teenage child, an unplanned pregnancy, and unwanted baby, to "living my best life" as a growing child. I had more love than most, spoiled in many ways. My struggles andbblessings are not worse or better than anyone else. I have just chosen to see the blessings and favor my God has shownn me. I've been through horrors no child should face; molested by the babysitter, "gang banged" while alocohol poisoned. I've seen things that would curl some people's toenails - drug abuse, drunken orgies, and pure evil at it's finest. I've also seen God show His face in those places. Maybe having addicted loved ones and watching them go through their battles helps us see through our own. I take life one day at a time. One step at a time. I never know where the next step will be. I never know what my next move will be, but I know God does, and that's all I need for now. Oh, and did I mention, I have been to jail. I'm no saint, remember? I've been through a lot. As time and memories come, I'll give you all the details in hopes that you can relate or be encouraged. When you feel like you've hit rock bottom, maybe it's just the knot at the end of the rope that you can hold on to better. Or that rock that is a step to get up to the next level. After all, even bankruptcy, family divisions, losing best friends, deaths, and hard knocks don't leave us on the bottom. Those are the rocks that help us build the walls, or the steps to get us back up to the place we were meant to be. What's your story? Do you have one? Maybe you can relate to some of mine. Maybe yours is worse. Maybe not. I hope by telling mine, I can be a glimmer of hope, a little sliver of light to shine in your darkness. I shine so that others will know that there is light in the darkness. You just have to fan the flame or flip the switch. The stories will unfold. I'll tell you from my perspective. I may step on some toes of my friends and family. It may not be the correct story from someone else's version. These will by my perceptions. Maybe some are made up in my head. I don't know. I just know, what I do know is God has given me the story, I'm just being a vessel to tell it. Hoping for the best, believing it, and trusting God. PM<3ox

Reintroduction & Restart

Reboot, Renew, Regenerate, Restore, Resolve...

Well, It's been 10 years since I started this blogsite. Wow. I didn't even realize how fast that time went by. As time has gone by, I have still always had this little voice telling me to write. I have no idea why, because, to me, I can't write worth a flip.  So, here's to writing from a non-writing person. I have read many personal development books in the last 10 years. I have gone through much development. Now, I am back with fervor, grace, mercy and intention to try again. 

I don't even know where to start again. First things first... Hello!

I am Paige Murray. That's who I am. What I am?? Just a girl who loves Jesus, my family, my animals, and so much more. I am a Christian, a hairdresser, a daughter, a sister, a mama, a wife, a ... so many things. Have you ever tried to think about and list all the things you are??? Try it. List the good and bad (to you, God doesn't see you that way, but our human perspective of ourselves is so skewed). 

My intention here is to help others find hope, happiness, encouragement, humor, and peace in their world. I have been through much in my 51 years. Not as much as some, way more than others. So, I'm here to share my stories. I'm here to show my perspective on the areas of my life that have molded me into who and what I am today. Let's build friendships. Let's learn to walk in freedom. Let's be peaceful and kind. Let's do this thing called life. Together. I'm gonna be vulnerable and give you all I've got from my perspective. 

My perspective doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It doesn't mean you have to agree or disagree. It's just how I see things and think about them. You never know when you are shown someone else's perspective it just may change the way you look at them or the situation at hand. 

Let's GO!

Me in 2012

Me today 2022